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General Discussion (Spain): First Day at Nursery Horror

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1 to 19 of 19

  1.  
    • CommentAuthorJosie
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2008
     
    I took my little girl to the nursery this morning for the first time and had a terrible experience. All the children there were in floods of tears and calling for their mums. I had to leave my daughter at the door (who at this point seeing all the other children in tears burst into tears herself). When I came to pick her up the teacher said she (and all the others) had been crying solidly for 2 hours. Is this normal? I am in two minds as to whether to take her back again. Has anyone else experienced this? Josie
  2.  
    Oh I so sympathise. I am on number 2 now and although still upsetting I know from past experience that it will get better (honestly!). I remember with my son it was really traumatic and he cried the whole time for 2 weeks. I was just on the verge of giving up when he turned the corner and he was happy there from that moment onwards. I think if you are planning on sending them to a Catalan school then it is a good idea to get them used to the language at a young age. I have friends who started at 3 and it was even worse for their children, who not only had the trauma of starting a school but in another language. If they have at least a few hours at the nursery then they will be used to the language when they start school. It will get better honestly and its the same for all the parents. Just brace yourself for a difficult 2 weeks. Good Luck!
    • CommentAuthorSuzannah
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2008
     
    Hi Josie

    My little girl is 19 months now, and I also experienced a really hard first few days at nursery when she first went at 10 months but I PROMISE it will get better. All children need time to adapt to situations but once they become familiar with the teachers and the routine, almost all children end up loving going. It is really normal for toddlers to cry (even for 2 hours at first), and it is probably harder on you than your daughter. Just persevere and every day will get a little easier. Once she is settled you`ll be amazed at how quickly they develop, learning new things, interacting with other children. My nursery experience here has been fantastic, and I am sure that within time yours will be too. Suzannah.
    • CommentAuthorBecca
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2008
     
    Hi Josie,
    Sounds exactly like what I have just been through today and it was HORRIBLE!!! I actually was in 2 minds about sending my son back tomorrow but have spoken to quite a few people and am going to try and persevere for a week or so but its really painful isnt it? Let me know how you get on! Good luck! Rebeccax
  5.  
    Our 10 month old daughter started nursery on the 4th, and is still going through the phasing-in process. At her nursery the children start off with a one and a half hour stint and work up from there, so that this change is not so traumatic for them. There are 14 toddlers in her class and they've been divided into three groups for this stage. There are four carers for five or six babies so that if they cry they can each be comforted for as long as necessary.
    This morning was the worst so far as she now knows that I'm going to leave her there and won't let me put her down. Parents are encouraged to spend a few minutes with their children trying to settle them in and then to say "Goodbye, Mummy will come and get you later" or similar.
    I had to hand her over to her teacher this morning and left her crying, but she (and most of the other babies) stop after a few minutes and get on with playing.
    Tomorrow she'll stay until one-thirty and will have lunch there (I hope). We were told that this process would take around three weeks, depending on the temperment of each child. It's just a bit hard on working parents, so we're juggling work around her at the moment...
    This sensitivity of the nursery towards the babies feelings and the nursery's encouragement of parents involvement in the babies nursery life is very important to us, and was one of the reasons we chose it.
    • CommentAuthorJosie
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2008
     
    Hi All,
    Thanks for your comments. Good to know I am not alone :) When I left this morning there were quite a few other teary faced mums too! Its just so difficult leaving your child crying and I also hate the sight of all the other children who seem so unhappy. My husband came with me today again (I am such a wimp!) and he thought it was better than yesterday as at least one of the children in the class was playing happily as opposed to yesterday when they were all screaming. There is only 8 in her class and yesterday only 4 turned up so I am sure she is getting enough attention. Was just awful to learn she has cried the whole time. Maybe I am a bit soft too! The teacher is lovely and the space is really nice too but I hate the fact I just have to leave her at the classroom door as quickly as possible and walk away. Charmaine, its nice that your nursery allows you to spend a few mins settling your daughter down. I wish ours did. Will try and stay positive and see how she is when I pick her up later!
    • CommentAuthorgracie001
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2008
     
    Nothing really to add to the above but just to say that I am also going through this and it is really hard. Hoping it will get better soon. Hang on in there everyone!!!
    • CommentAuthorClio
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2008
     
    Hi all,

    So happy to see this thread. I am sitting here in work feeling consumed by guilt! Have also been told 2 weeks is normal for this kind of behaviour so just gritting my teeth.
  9.  
    Hi everyone.
    Well, everything I explained about our nursery seems to be great in theory, but it doesn't seem to be working with our little girl at the moment. We seem to be going backwards and it's getting worse rather than better (actually the headmistress told us that this was very likely). The other babies seem fine, but ours is the only one who refuses to nap there even though she has to fight to keep her eyes open, so when I pick her up at around 12:30, she's absolutely exhausted. The problem is that for the past three days she also refuses to be put to bed at home because she knows I'm going to leave her in her bed by herself to sleep, so she hysterically grabs at my hands and cries and screams her little heart out. It's a terrible scenario. I think that she feels that I'm abandoning her and I feel awful. I just hope things get better soon.
    • CommentAuthorJosie
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2008
     
    Charmaine that sounds so familiar!!! Even though my little girl is older she also comes home at lunchtime completely wired and then absolutely refuses to go to bed (also at night time we are having battles) She is so overtired which is making her so overwrought with big meltdowns about the tiniest things (today she had a temper tantrum for 20 minutes because she couldnt get her nappy off). The thing is you dont want to leave them crying as they have been doing that all day so it feels like they are playing you up slightly as well. All my friends tell me to stick at it and it will get better but its such a difficult thing to go through. Driving to pick her up today I felt exactly as if I was about to sit a big exam (that horrible feeling of apprehension, worry, sickness, emptiness.....). Am thinking why on earth am I putting us through all of this!!! It is so upsetting when you leave them crying and then when you get home you cant concentrate on anything else and just count down the seconds until you can go and get them again. Someone at the nursery today told me that it took their older child over a month to settle. Not sure our family can handle that...
    • CommentAuthorBecca
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2008
     
    Not tempting fate...sure it will all go down hill again but apparantly today was better according to the staff at the nursery. Probably means he cried for one and three quarters of an hour instead of two!! but taking comfort from it. I can see a glimmer of hope so I am sure it will get better for everybody.
    • CommentAuthorJosie
    • CommentTimeSep 23rd 2008
     
    Just a quick update! We are getting better!!!!! Not saying that she actually enjoys it but its not so traumatic (on both sides!). Hope it is better for all of you too! When I went to pick her up today she was playing with some other children and actually seemed to be enjoying herself! Miracle!!! Not to say we dont still have tears when I drop her off and the teacher says she does have her moments (particularly when they go outside to play for some reason) but its definitely not as horrific as last week. I thought we would never survive!
    • CommentAuthordanismumi
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2008
     
    Well my son is in his 2nd year at nursery and we've had some tearful mornings as he adjusts after the summer with mami and papi but on the whole he's not done too badly.
    There have only been 2 occasions when he was clinging to me like a limpet and I had to perform the well-known surgical operation of removing him and passing him to the teacher. It was extremely difficult and I felt like Judas as, like all the kids psychology books recommend, I kissed him, said ´see you later´and walked away without looking back. The teacher told me that he only cried for about 5/10mins after I'd gone so whilst I was drowning in guilt he was apparently playing at making tortilla, eating all his lunch and making friends. Typical!
    Conversely, papi took him to school this morning and reports that he was a little quiet but he basically walked into the classroom without looking back. Interesting eh???!!!
  14.  
    We all came down with gastroenteritis over the weekend. That could have been the reason that she wasn't eating well at the nursery. I've heard horror stories about how kids will pick up every illness going, but optimistically thought we would be amongst the lucky families. I hope it's a one-off. Doctor says she shouldn't go back until Friday but would prefer her to stay away until Monday. I just hope these days at home don't set us back too much with her settling in. Things seemed to be getting slightly better ...
    • CommentAuthortrixy
    • CommentTimeSep 20th 2010
     
    Feeling very comforted by these posts....Been in tears for the last week or so. I feel so guilty that I need to work and my child is so traumatized. Am just living for the weekend. Do they do it wrong here? Why cant they do a longer adaption period? Something isnt working as the whole class is in tears when I drop off and pick up. Hopefully this period will pass soon. Poor things!
  16.  
    If it´s any consolation I am a primary teacher with 25 years experience and I thought I had prepared my daughter perfectly but she screamed her head off on her first day at school and had to be peeled off me and I went away and burst into tears. I don´t like the system here in Spain and we had a very hard not bothered teacher but inspite of all this things got better. The only problem is just when your child seems settled they catch a bug, are off for a week and you have to go back a few steps.It does get easier so stick with it and try and keep positive !!
    • CommentAuthorBecca
    • CommentTimeSep 23rd 2010
     
    Hi Trixy,
    I had a terrible time with my son when he was 18months when I decided to send him to the guarderia - you can see my comments above. In the end I pulled him out as I just couldnt bear it. Everyone told me to stick with it and that it would get better and that if I pulled him out he would never adapt to a school/guarderia situation. Two years later he has just started at a local school and is one of the only few that goes in without crying. If you feel your child is too young dont feel obliged to send them. It really doesnt mean they will suffer later on. I totally sympathise as I know its one of the worst things you can go through as a parent but dont be put off looking at other options. My daughter is now 18months and I decided not to put her in a guarderia. She has a Spanish babysitter 3 days a week and is really enjoying learning Spanish and is far better than my son was at that age. She is incredibly sociable and is certainly not suffering from not being in a guarderia with other children. Where are you based? Are you near Sitges? If so I can recommend a few playgroups / babysitters. All the best Rebecca
    • CommentAuthorspmum
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2013
     
    Hi everyone

    I am a "spanish mum" and I would like to help you giving you (as far as I am able to) the "local point of view" as I have always been helped when I have been abroad. Please excuse me my writting mistakes.

    I agree with Becca - there´s no need of going to the nursery if you can afford other options, probably better, they will have time to socialize afterwards ...
    on the other hand if it is a good nursery the kids can be very happy and learn how to eat alone and many useful things

    And here I get to the point: "Nursery horror... is this normal?" of course not !

    My older one (3) went to a nursery when he was 18 months-old in which I could not enter, I just had to leave him at the door and he would cry every day, also he was ill every 3 days - Please avoid that type of nurserys - It was very modern, they taught him English and music , etc,etc

    After a few weeks I looked for a smaller nursery, less children, a nice playground outside, and specially how they treated the kids, and my baby went happyly there, no cries, just the first day during five minutes.

    Anyway I think until they are 18 months they are better at home

    I hope, though this discussion is old, being popular, I have been able to help someone.

    Have a nice time in Spain!

    8-)
    • CommentAuthorspmum
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2013
     
    Of course I could go inside the second nursery and when I went to pick him up I used to stay in their class for sometime speaking with the teacher and playing with the others kids.

1 to 19 of 19

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